I Failed!?

Poor little innocent me.  

I just tried to open a new bank account.  The bank representative, my husband and I were having a nice chat, and then it was time for the background check.  

No problem, says I. I don't even have any traffic tickets in my permanent record.

And then I failed.  

Homeland Security failed me.  

Huh?

Really, I'm no threat to anyone.  (Well, maybe to a couple of people, but I'm mostly harmless.)

It turns out that because I have had my credit stolen twice in the past two years, and as a result of that, because I've put a security flag on my credit reports, Homeland Security has put a security flag on ME.  Poor little older-ish ME.

TSA trusts me; I always get TSA pre-check when I fly and I don't have to take off my shoes or empty my bags or undress at security checkpoints. TSA doesn't care about my stolen credit id.

Even the local police don't care about my stolen credit id.

But Homeland Security does care!

I feel so loved.  

(And so inconvenienced. I have to go back tomorrow with my social security card, my birth certificate, and a bill in my name. And then they'll take my money.)

Crisis Averted!

The threat level can go back to ...... orange?  blue?  chartreuse?  Do we still do that?  I don't know.

On my recent trip to Austin, the ever-diligent TSA agents at the Atlanta airport found my Swiss Army Knife---AGAIN---and confiscated it.  We are all safer now.

I always carry one (except for the few days after the TSA confiscates it).  Who knows when I will need a toothpick, tweezers, a knife blade, a nail file or, most importantly, a corkscrew?  Because I always carry one, I never remember that I am carrying it.

But have no fear, travelling public, the TSA is here to save us all from whatever evil deed I might have in mind using my Swiss Army Knife.  Knitting needles? Those I can carry.  And really, they look more potentially dangerous to me than the knife.

But shhhh.....don't tell the TSA folks.