It's Christmas Shopping Time!

so says all the advertising on television. And especially today, Black Friday, but yet, here I sit, at home. Because I'm not crazy; no shopping in person today. There's always the internet.

So here we go, suggestions from our friends at Hammacher Schlemmer ©:

Because who doesn't need a $95,000 sofa that looks like a hippo?

And why not literally scare the snot out of your child while helping him breathe?

My daughter needs this. A smaller one in her neighborhood scares her 80 lb black lab! Imagine what this one would do. And for only $400!

For the ultimate narcissist on your list:

I don't even know what to say about this.

For grandchildren everywhere. In case a regular kazoo isn't annoying your parents enough:

(Hello?  H?)

And last and most definitely least, the perennial puzzle from Mori Gifts:  I know this is necessary in some places on this planet, but again, why would anyone give this as a gift?  

NOT A GIFT

I'm here to help.

Happy Shopping!

Because it's Apparently Christmas Shopping Time Already:

It Ain't Braggin' if it's True, part 2

OK, so it turns out that my last post wasn't entirely true.  I will pass along to you, dear readers, what I have learned from my experience.

Once you have finished what you consider to be your Christmas shopping, wrapping and shipping, DO NOT, under any circumstances, go into even one more store.  Possibly the grocery store isn't even safe.

Because I went to Lowes, the home improvement store that sells soil, plants, toilets, wiring, and tools I can't even identify, I have this package to mail.

What's inside that could possibly be a gift for my 4-year old granddaughter? That I found at Lowes?

This:

I went to Lowe's looking for a wreath, which I did not get because all of theirs were raining needles and would not last until Christmas, and this ornament jumped out at me.   Elizabeth loves, loves, loves all things Hello Kitty and so of course I thought--- Elizabeth MUST have this. 

Now I am off to the post office to mail it.  

NO MORE STORES.  

My apologies to anyone in this house who might want to eat home-cooked meals between now and Christmas.  Publix and Kroger and especially Fresh Market are now off limits.  Because apparently no place, not even a home-improvement store, is safe.