So,

my husband always says that he doesn't know what to give me for my birthday or Christmas, and he claims that he welcomes suggestions.

Well, I will have a birthday this year, just like every year, and I told him what I would like:  a mini-facelift!

He said:  Not on my watch.

So, I guess that means I need to replace him, preferably with a plastic surgeon so I can have a FREE mini-facelift. That way, if I don't even like the guy, I get something out of it. I'm no dummy. 

Anyone know a single or soon-to-be divorced plastic surgeon or an unhappily married plastic surgeon I could stalk meet??? (Call me.)

He also said he is afraid I would end up looking like Goldie Hawn.

Now that's just unfair, says I. The paparazzo who took this picture wasn't using flattering lighting, filters and whatnot. Poor Goldie. She should totally sue the guy.

Plus, all I want is a little lift of what are called "jowls." No puffy lips, no eyes pulled up almost to my forehead, no mask-like skin. Just a mini-mini-mini lift.

See?  It's possible!


Two problems:  

a.  I'm a coward. I don't like being knocked out.

b.  Apparently, things can go wrong.

Ouch!  Those cheeks!

So, 


click here.