Wednesday, June 22, 2016

HELP!!!


WHO, I wonder, decided that all jeans must have spandex or some other stretchy fabric in them? I hate stretchy stuff in jeans, and my favorite jeans have just developed a hole. I LOVE these jeans. They fit; they are 100% cotton---no spandex, no nylon, no plastic, no rubber or whatever the #$%^& is in every pair of jeans I try on the replace them with.


Sad, amirite?

This is the south.  It's hot and stretchy fabrics are HOT to wear.  

As I hunted online for some cotton jeans that aren't ugly, I came across a link to a site titled 24 Things Women over Thirty Should Wear.  Over THIRTY??? What sort of cut-off age is thirty?

Anyway, one of the suggestions, modeled by a woman well over thirty, was this:

Torn jeans!!!

Alrighty, thought I.

Not only are they torn, but they are also white!!!  And my younger daughter said I shouldn't wear white jeans. HAH!

ALSO...I was just at Anthropologie and most of the jeans they were selling had lots of ripped areas in them. 

So I guess my blue jeans are right en vogue, y'all, and so are my newish white ones.  No spandex for me.  

Bonus! The website 24 Things Women over Thirty Should Wear concludes that they should wear, and I quote, "Whatever the f*ck they want."

YESSSS.....




Sunday, June 19, 2016

It Might Be A Slippery Slope


And if it is, I am sliding down it.

Not mine.  (Not yet.)


The first time I saw a Fairy Garden at a plant nursery, I thought: Oh c'mon.  Just how old do they think we are?  

And the next few times I came across them I thought the same.

But suddenly Oh c'mon turned into That's so cuuuute.

And yesterday I hit the bottom of the slope.


Grandchildren are visiting in July, and I thought that the youngest girl, 7, might want to "help me" put together a fairy garden, so while I was at Lakewood 400 yesterday, I bought these:

Two fairies reading a book 
A hedgehog on a leaf (the leaf is not to scale but who cares?)
A birdbath with a bird on it 
A bicycle. Fairies can FLY so I don't know why they would need a bicycle, but who cares---it's so cuuuuute.  

Part of me wants to go back up to Lakewood 400 today and get MOAR STUFF. 

It's nice here at the bottom.    


Monday, June 13, 2016

I Cheated!


I decided to make a bacon/onion quiche for dinner tonight, but it's HOT out and who needs to spend a lot of time in the kitchen? says I.

So I bought the ingredients:



Cheaters pie crust (the ONLY kind I use), cheese already shredded, and for the first time ever, pre-cooked bacon.

YAY me! Who really likes cooking bacon anyway? It's messy and then you have to clean up the mess. This bacon is a bit limp though, and I wouldn't put it on a BLT without a little more cooking, but for this? Perfect. I chopped it up, added chopped onion and celery (and I did all that chopping that MYSELF y'all; I guess I could have bought pre-chopped celery and onion. I don't really know. hmm...) and put all of it in the pan for a few minutes of sautéing.

I added the rest of the ingredients, and an hour later, voilà.  



It was just as good as if I'd really made it all myself.

Cheating.  As my buddy Martha would say, "It's a good thing."



Tuesday, May 31, 2016

Sez Who?


So it's the day after Memorial Day and now we can wear white. 

Just who said we couldn't until Memorial Day??? Who makes these rules???  Who made them boss of us?

My sister-in-law once told me that women over the age of thirty-five could not wear their hair long. Again, SEZ WHO!!!


I don't know who comes up with this stuff, but I don't listen anyway. I'm a free-thinker, y'all! I dance to the beat of my own drum, and all that stuff. But jokingly I asked my LA daughter about a month ago, after I had bought the first pair of white jeans I have bought since my college days, if I had to wait until Memorial Day to wear them.

Her answer:  Why would you wear white jeans?

Well, so I don't wander around in just my underwear. And because white goes with, oh, everything.

And even Prince William wears white, and BEFORE Memorial Day (although I realize this rule is only for Americans).


What is he doing?  I have no idea.


And if it's ok for the Prince, future KING of England, it's ok for me.

SEZ I.

Monday, May 30, 2016

Oh Deer



In my mind, my garden is beautiful. In my mind, the rose bushes are four feet tall and covered with roses; the butterfly bushes are six feet tall and covered with blooms. All the perennials are healthy and flowering.

In reality, the rose bushes are one foot high and obviously nibbled, the butterfly bushes are two feet high, the perennials, most of them, are chewed to the ground. I would swear that, based on the damage, I am planting things FOR the deer.


So I am fighting back with everything I can find. When I went to the garden center, I asked for netting to put over the plants and the saleslady suggested that I also go to the dollar store and buy helium balloons; she has heard they might frighten deer away. 

Then I went to the most gorgeous nursery I have ever seen, Scottsdale Farms, and in addition to beautiful plants, I bought a deer deterrent product.


Now my garden looks like this:



Netting over the puny rose bush

My arsenal: netting, deterrent, helium balloon. There are THREE rose bushes in the photo. THREE! You just can't see them because they are so PUNY!!! Thanks deer.

My new garden boots!  Aren't they purty?

Elmo says "Hi!"

In my online research into discouraging deer, I read that they don't like the odor of garlic and that sprinkling garlic powder around in a garden might keep deer away.

That's my next weapon. 

Oh deer my %^Y&UI(OP.


Friday, May 20, 2016

Hudson Bay Blanket Socks



I don't remember when I started these---a couple of months ago maybe, but I've been obsessed with blanket knitting. I finished these yesterday.

I'm quite happy with these, made from Jan Stephen's basic pattern, using Fishknits Strong Heart yarn in Canadiana colorway.




After I finished the first sock, I unwound the yarn so that I could re-wind it from the other end and have the stripes in the opposite color order in the second sock. Apparently Fishknits anticipated craziness in knitters and meant for the knitter to knit from both ends; the colors are in the same order in both socks.

Oh well....

Love them anyway.

Wednesday, May 18, 2016

Exteriors


Disney, LA




The Petersen Automotive Museum, LA



I love wandering around LA and looking at the buildings.  These are two of my favorites.


Monday, May 16, 2016

The Future Might Be Here


from The New Yorker


Yesterday, Sunday, my husband ordered a new router for our computers from Amazon: same day delivery, free. Last night as we were getting in the car to leave for dinner, a long, shiny black limousine pulled up in front of our house.

The driver got out, I walked to the street to meet him, curious about his being in front of our house at all.

He was delivering the router. No joke. Amazon's delivery vehicle was a limo with a limo driver. He told me that his car is, in fact, a limo, and that he is, in fact, a limo driver. But when demand for limo service is slow, he delivers packages for Amazon.  

Well I never.....



The cartoon is a joke, i.e., not serious, i.e. not real.

I wonder how long, though, before it IS reality.

Saturday, May 14, 2016

Back from LA

We just returned from a visit with younger daughter, who celebrated her one-year anniversary of brain surgery! Yay S! The surgery was successful, with only a minor hearing loss as a result of removing an acoustic neuroma on her left acoustic nerve.

Before we left Atlanta, I had tasked asked her to find this house:


It is Harry Bosch's house in the series Bosch on Netflix. The series is based on really good police dramas written by Michael Connelly. And yes, I do know that it is fiction, and that no one named Harry Bosch lives in this great house, but SOMEONE does; it exists and I want to see it.

Apparently younger daughter was not very motivated to find it because she DIDN'T.

She also has not watched (or read) the series because if she had, she would move out of LA.  It's dangerous there, y'all!!!


Anyway, we had a nice visit, even though her plans to keep us busy while she was at work didn't quite work out. She had suggested that we go to the Rain Room at LACMA, but when we looked for the hours it was open on Monday, we learned that it was closed for a couple of weeks, no explanation given.

OK, we'll go see the newly-opened Frank Lloyd Wright house on Monday. On Monday we looked up the hours....not open on Monday or Tuesday, the only days we had left to go there.

Our next stop, the Broad, a new museum of contemporary art, was a no-go as well. Because it's relatively new, tickets were sold out for a month or so in advance. Standby tickets only....

We did go to the Rose Bowl Flea Market and that was entertaining, more for the people there than for the stuff for sale, but the best thing was this:




A friend who saw the photo of this funnel cake topped with powdered sugar and chocolate sauce asked me if the apple dessert was good. Hah! It was Mother's Day.  Who eats good-for-you stuff on Mother's Day? No apples here.




We did also make it to see the amazing cars at the Petersen Automotive MuseumWhat I loved was the stairway that was designed specifically for the museum:




Sort of looks like a weirdly-shaped hubcap, doesn't it?

We also made it to the BEACH!!! Saltwater, waves, sand, my favorite place to be. But the weather was not ideal...isn't it always sunny in Los Angeles?  (Nope, just in Philadelphia.) We experienced what the locals call "May Gray." The temperature was in the 60's so that was nice, but we only saw sun the last two days we were there, and not until after about 4:30. But that's ok; it was still the beach.
Santa Monica Pier



Now, back to TV (Remember? I mentioned the Bosch series?). There is a new version of Burn Notice on television, but it isn't about a spy and it doesn't take place in Miami and it has a different cast. It's about...hard to say. It is The Catch on ABC.




The plot is convoluted and totally unrealistic, just like the plot of Burn Notice, and it's a pretty show set, not in Miami, but in LA, where it IS always sunny in TV land. The people are pretty; the settings are pretty; the clothes and jewels and cars are pretty. But there is one thing that distracts me:




Mereille Enos's eyelashes.  

Holy Smokes! No one's eyelashes are that long. And we know they are fake because she doesn't have them on when she is in her AMAZING home. 

So, I watched this show and then started noticing all the really, really long eyelashes on other actresses. Real people don't wear false lashes this long, right?

Wrong. In LA they do and I saw some in the wild, so to speak, on a saleslady in a store we went to. It's like seeing a new bird species! I can add them to my life list.


And I can add this:


  
We were stopped at a red light when we saw this man on the opposite side of the light. He rides this, in LA traffic.

Brave man?  Or crazy man? I report, you decide. 

Tuesday, April 26, 2016

One Day Short of A Month!


I did it!  I finished my Umaro and I love it. It took a day less than a month, and according to my Knit Companion app, it also took 48 hours and 18 seconds of knitting. I am not so OCD or whatever that I would normally even know this, but the app tracks the time that the app is open, which it always was while I was working on this because the pattern was charted.


Before soaking.


Based on a conversation another knitter had with the owner of Apple Yarns, who recommended wet-blocking the blanket, I soaked this:


Heavy, sodden blanket

Heavy, sodden towels

What happens when a knitted wool blanket gets soaked?  It GROWS! It is now 46" x 77".


I didn't think to measure it before soaking, but it wasn't nearly this large. It grew about a foot in width and more than that in length.

I have the ceiling fan going overhead and I hope that will help it dry before the Rapture. I'd like to have a chance to gift it or use it.




Monday, April 18, 2016

Internet!


Make up your mind. You put these on the same page. What's a reader, looking for non-professional advice, to do???





Completely unrelated:
Umaro by Brooklyn Tweed, knit from Cascade Yarns Lana Grande 6043

I have finished five of six repeats on this blanket and I am now officially tired of knitting it. I WILL finish it this week so that I can STOP working on it.

I do love it though.

Tuesday, April 12, 2016

Random Stuff


as if I don't always just post random stuff.

This is the BEST chocolate milk on the ENTIRE PLANET!!!



I have no relationship with whoever makes this, but yuuuuummmmm....It is really rich. I found it at Fresh Market and I haven't seen it anywhere else yet. If you can find some, buy it!   Drink it!   Buy some more! 

*********************


I found this headline online and I think the writer could have worded it differently:


Huh?

I do realize what it intends to communicate, but there must have been a better way to say it. 


And a favorite of mine---there was a headline that was purportedly in a NY paper when Ike Turner died: Ike Beats Tina to Death. I suspect that the writer was snickering when he wrote that, and then the copy editor snickered and let it go to print. 

**********************


For something else totally random, one of my pet peeves, and I realize I might be almost alone (click for CBS opinion) in this, is the response "No problem" when someone says "Thank you."



Last year when I was in the UK, I thought that, of course, people there would say "You're welcome." They are so very polite on all of those PBS dramas, you know?

But at a tea shop when I thanked the server for my tea and scone, she replied.......


"Not a bother."


More polite? Less polite? I don't know. 

I give up!

And you are very welcome.

(I can't go cold turkey.)


Sunday, April 10, 2016

The Truth


On Friday I went to my dermatologist appointment and I was numbed, sliced and diced, cauterized, gooped up, bandaged up, and I'm a thing of beauty, I tell ya.



As the doctor went to open the door to leave, she turned, studied me for a moment and then asked:  Have you ever had any injections?

And I thought: Well, rats, she thinks I need WORK.

Then I thought: Wait, she had to ASK if I have had injections. That means I look ok and she didn't know if it was because I had HAD work or because yay me I look ok without any work. (I most certainly have not had work; I'm a coward. Things can go wrong, y'all.)

I think that this is the truth of anti-aging procedures:


From the New Yorker

So, no thanks to any "work" or "injections."


Wednesday, April 6, 2016

Umaro


Knitting this goes pretty quickly until my thumb starts to hurt from the super bulky yarn and the size 15 needles. I think they are the largest I have ever used but in spite of them, I am really enjoying this project. Good thing since the yarn I ordered to make a second one arrived the other day.


Nail polish bottle for scale, 'cause I'm a pro!


I have now finished three of the six repeats.

Yay me!!!

Monday, April 4, 2016

Will I See Dead People?



Sweet Baby Cheeses, I hope not!

Today I used an organic fertilizer on my daffodils. 



Possibly legal organic stuff...or possibly...someone's family?

Now, I am not accusing E.B. Stone of anything; I'm sure he is a very nice man who would not do anything icky or illegal, but I have seen human cremains and they do look a lot like this. Actually, pretty much exactly like this:



Hello?  


Mr. Stone's fertilizer is a very fine powder containing different sized chunks of .....???? I know what organic means and I think that this fertilizer could qualify in any number of ways, most of them legal, but also, possibly including having come from a crematorium. Not that I'm accusing Mr. Stone of anything...wrong?

If I "grow" anyone in my yard, I'll run and scream and then let you know.


To continue on to my main topic, I have a lot of work to do this year because my perennial garden has been ignored and neglected the past couple of years. I do, however, have an excuse which is also an explanation. 

Last spring, I spent a month in LA hanging out with   shopping with   going to the beach with helping younger daughter recover from her surgery for an acoustic neuroma (benign brain tumor). So no work done.  

What about the OTHER months in the spring? you ask.  

Well, just hush. I think it might have rained a lot or something.

The spring before that, I broke my wrist and needed surgery to repair it. No yard work (or knitting) for me.

The fall before that? I broke both bones in my ankle and couldn't do much of anything for months because of the &*()_^&*#^ brace/cast I had to hobble around in.

SO, not my fault. DH does the heavy-lifting macho type stuff. I do the maintenance; I have a lot to catch up on.

But the only help I need from my so-called organic fertilizer is to make my plants grow. MY PLANTS GROW. No one nothing else.



Lilacs!!!



I have my very own lilacs to cut!

They aren't like the gorgeous, lush lilacs that grow in the north, but they are still pretty great. 

And I have azaleas, and soon will have roses and peonies. In a month or so.

I love spring in the south.

Ah-choo!!!

Monday, March 28, 2016

It's All About that Math, 'Bout that Math


Knitting involves quite a bit of math, which can come as a surprise to new knitters.

Knit Companion solves a lot of math-related problems by allowing me to color code and enlarge what I want to work on and I used it this morning when I ripped back a couple of rows and re-knit them. Somehow I had the wrong number of stitches in some sections, but it's all straightened out now. Then I found two stitches that I hadn't even worked---how on earth does THAT happen?! Also, I do think there are some purls where there should be knits, or vice versa, but I'm not sure. This pattern is...quirky. That's the word.

This is part of the screen of KC that I am using for this project:


I colored the repeat section yellow, and then I enlarge the page so that I only see the parts I am working on. I count the stitches necessary for each section from the chart, and then count what I actually have. Ideally they match. But today, they didn't. YO's and SSKs and K2TOG mess up the count if I'm not careful. YOs right before or after a marker can really mess up the count. They get caught on the marker, and then...which side do they belong on? 

The turquoise (my signature color!) line shows that the row I am working on is on the back of the fabric. A yellow line shows up when I am on the front of the fabric. I can see the symbols and their meanings if I want; otherwise I just lower that part of the page so they aren't in my way. There are counters on the right and I can set them to indicate what I want them to count.  

KC gets way more complicated if I need it to to be, but I actually haven't learned how to do anything more complicated yet. First, I just need to conquer the math.

Sunday, March 27, 2016

Mistakes Were Made


I think.

I'm not sure.

I am working on Umaro by Brooklyn Tweed, and it doesn't look right. I'm not blaming myself (yet) because lots of other knitters on Ravelry have commented on the confusing charts. 


There are several places where the pattern just doesn't work out right, but I think I will need to knit on and then see if I should just trust the pattern (and myself) to get it right. 

The last time I made a blanket, a small baby blanket, I said Never again! and I did mean it at the time, but I love this one; it's huge but worth the time (if I get it right).  I hope.

Sunday, March 13, 2016

Welcome


to my fringe factory!


I don't usually like working on what the Yarn Harlot refers to as the fiddly bits, but once I figured out a simple process to add fringe to my wrap, the task became EASY fiddly bits. A long ruler, each of the two yarns in yarn bowl/yarn bell, scissors, and a crochet hook comprise the factory---easy, peasy as my youngest granddaughter says. (She adds "nice and breezy" but I don't know what that would mean in this context.)

Of course I had the help of my quality control inspector, AKA Baxter. He approved. In fact, he approved so much that he wanted to lie down on it. NO! NO! NO!




Finished! And just in time for really, really warm weather. 

So! Just in time for summer storage.  




Magic Three-Yarn Scarf and Wrap by Churchmouse Yarns and Teas


Saturday, March 5, 2016

My Doppelgänger


I do not say that she is my doppelgänger.  Other people say so. (Actually, they say I am HER doppelgänger, but I am more important to me than she is, so I say she is MINE.) When I am out and about in public, doing errands, going to a doctor's appointment, eating, shopping, at least every week or two, someone approaches me and I know what is coming. 

You look just like Blythe Danner.

I don't know what I am supposed to do with that information. Apply to be her stunt double? I don't think she does stunts so she probably doesn't need one. Maybe take over parenting Gwyneth Paltrow? No thanks. I like my own kids a whole lot better.

Also, I DO NOT LOOK like Blythe Danner.  I promise you that. 

I always say:  It's the hair.  We have the same hair.


My hair

Although hers is grayer. Mine has mysteriously stayed its original color.  

This past week, though, my protestations backfired on me. The nurse at a medical office said: You look like someone famous, but I can't think of her name.

I sighed and replied:  Blythe Danner. I hear that all of the time. It's the hair. We have the same hair.

She said that I shouldn't mind being told about the resemblance because Blythe Danner is pretty. Then she proceeded to ask the questions she is supposed to ask a patient. At one point she stared really intently at me and I was impressed. Wow, I thought, she is really concentrating on my answers.

But then she announced: You're right. It's the hair. You really don't look anything like her.

So I guess that means she took back the pretty part.  

sigh...


Saturday, February 20, 2016

Focus!


I finished these socks yesterday; I started them in MAY of last year. Yikes. 

They aren't even remotely identical but I knit them from a Gale's Art sock flat, which is yarn already knit up, dyed and stamped, and you unravel the flat piece of knitting as you go. I'm not sure that it would be possible to cut the yarn to get identical socks; I doubt it.The yarn is all squiggly (technical term) and a little difficult to control. I'm sure I didn't get gauge because the squiggles (technical term) wouldn't allow me to hold the yarn tightly, but then, I never really try to get gauge, so it doesn't actually matter. (Don't tell the knitting police on me!) Kitchenering the toe was really fiddly because of all the squiggles.



AND, last week I finished my Easy Folded Poncho in this purple silk. The yarn, Shibui Knits Heichi, has been discontinued, and I can't imagine why. It drapes beautifully. Shibui! Re-think this decision, please!



So now I am laser-light focussed on finishing up projects before I begin another.

Hah, hah, hah, hah, hah............