Lazy Monday

I'm lazy today, so I'll quote other people instead of writing.

From Groucho Marx by way of hokgardner:
Time flies like an arrow but fruit flies like a banana.
(We English teachers love plays on words.)

From Woody Allen by way of the Yarn Harlot:
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

Parents - Here are two things you can use, if you are a bit ....I'm not sure what the word is.

Two of my friends had rather unsympathetic fathers. When one friend and her brother complained about anything that had gone wrong in their lives, this is what they heard:

Worse things have happened to better people. (ouch!)

And the other, when she called home after failing a paper, heard:

If you're looking for sympathy, you'll find it in the dictionary between sh*t and syphilis.

Yikes! That was the last time she even thought about looking for sympathy from him!