Friday, November 18, 2011

Lotions and Potions

Or Why I'm Glad That I Don't Have Hemorrhoids

Look at all this stuff!

I am supposed to use all of it to maintain my youthful beauty or to treat a problem.

There's moisturizer, two kinds, one with SPF 15 to ward off any more skin cancers.

Aldara, to treat the skin cancers I already have.

Some stuff from Bobbi Brown to make me appear less old.

Some Retin-A related cream from the dermatologist to exfoliate any cells that might be thinking of becoming skin cancers.

Some 12% acid AmLactin to treat actinic keratoses I inherited from one of my parents. (Thanks for that.)

Some skin-bleaching cream that, if you saw my hands, you'd know I never remember to use. I prefer to think that the brown patches are just patches of permanent tan from my years in Florida. Also? I can't find it.

Korres Guava lip butter.

And Voltaren to treat the swelling remaining from my knee surgery in August.

I'm old. I get confused. What goes where? And while I've heard that models use Preparation H for under-eye swelling, I thinks it's a good thing that I don't have to put that particular lotion in my inventory. Who knows what could happen?

1 comment:

Susan said...

I would have a similar pile! I have taken to writing with permanent marker on the prescription tubes so I know which one is for what issue!