My Second Sundry

Room With A View

Hola from Mexico.

The reason for this lovely view, aside from the fact that I am in Mexico, is that the living room, dining room and kitchen have no walls.

Surprise!  It sure was to us and the reason for the surprise is a long and confusing story.

For another day.

It is siesta time.

If the crashing of the waves doesn't keep me awake...

Oh, what a tangled web we weave,
when first we practice to deceive.

Yes, I know Sir Walter Scott wasn't talking about knitting, but he might have been if he had seen this: 

The sweater that has been torturing me suddenly seemed to make sense yesterday and I just knit like the wind, making PROGRESS for once.  I even made it to the decreases for the armholes.  

I was so encouraged that I kept on knitting, even though I had started making small mistakes, mistakes that were easy to fix.

And on I knit.

Until suddenly I had the wrong stitches in the wrong places for one set of cables. My apparently-tired mind figured it ALL out and fixed it, meaning that I sort of faked it, because really, who would know?  Anyone studying it closely enough to spot the errors would deserve to be smacked upside the head.  

But the faked fix didn't take. I still had the wrong number of stitches in the wrong places. This morning, with two cups of strong coffee in me, I frogged the six or seven (I don't even know and that is a bad sign) stitches and remade the cable. 

Success?

Nope. Now I have the wrong combination of purl and knit stitches for the other half of the cable.  

Attempted deceit didn't work.  I thought I could fake the fix and no one but me would ever know.  

Sir Walter Scott: Knitting Expert. 


And an update:

I have learned something valuable and I will pass it on to you.  Apparently it is not possible to fake repairs on cabled knitting when the cables sort of wander around the fabric.  After too many attempts to do this, and after too many times of thinking, incorrectly, that I could get away with it, the knitting demons (I am convinced that they exist) just totally rejected all my fixes. There were purl stitches where there should have been knit stitches and knit stitches where there should have been purl stitches. I don't know how or why. I had to take back all the rows I knitted yesterday, row by sad row, stitch by sad stitch.

I still don't understand WHY what I did didn't work.  But this is what I have ended up with tonight:

A tangled mess, indeed

It's very sad.  I'm very sad.

But determined, against all odds.

As Scarlett said:  ...tomorrow is another day.

And this time, this had better go perfectly...or else.  Or else what?  No idea.

I sweartagah

I keep knitting and knitting and knitting and knitting and knitting some more

and this sweater NEVER gets any longer than 11 1/4 inches long.  I've been knitting for days and weeks and......well, since AUGUST 15th!!!!!

and this is as far as it goes.  

I had thought that it was my fault, lack of initiative, lack of inspiration, lack of stick-to-it-ive-ness, but I have decided that it is not me.

It is the sweater.  

It is evil.  

Just like the Bunny Blanket Buddy I knit a few years ago.

So, younger daughter, it will be a sweater when IT decides to become one.  In the meantime, I will keep knitting and knitting and knitting, but it is ultimately up to the yarn and the needles.  

Really.

Where Variegated Yarn Comes From

MOLLY! NO!

I never say that, do I?  It's always BAXTER!  NO!

But nope, this time it was Molly and I caught her in the act.

Do you see Gertie?

This is Gertie.  Isn't she c.u.u.u.t.e?  She was a Christmas gift from Sallyknit, who made her and her nine buddies.  

Do you see where Gertie lives?   in a top row cubby, between a photo of younger daughter and some books, where cats can't get to her.  (Hah! say the cats.)

Do you see sweet, innocent, widdle Molly, sitting in front of the bookcase?  Hi Mom.  I'm just sitting here, doing nothing.  Yes, Gertie was on the floor.  I don't know HOW she got there. Really. Prolly Baxter did it.  Yes, it was Baxter. He's the bad cat.  

No, Molly, it wasn't Baxter. 

I just came upstairs and found poor Gertie, being assaulted, assaulted, I tell you, by Molly.  I rescued Gertie.  She is fine.  

Something happened while we were away for Christmas.

Molly learned many bad things from Baxter.  Soon after we came home, I looked into the kitchen to see Molly on the kitchen counter.  I had never seen her there before.

And now, poor Gertie.  

Molly---

Free! Free at Last!

And no bail required!

I was going to throw the boot over the deck railing and into the back yard, but then I would have to go out in the cold and pick it up, so I just sort of tossed it across the room, and Molly is now checking it out.  For the millionth time.

The PA (the ortho seemed to be in hiding.  Kinda odd...) said that the broken bones are 100% mended and after a few sessions of pt, I am finished with all this.  Yay!

Yay is right.  Does this mean you will stop whining?  

I haven't been whining.  I've been complaining, a little, and I was entitled to complain.

A little!  Hah!  And no, you weren't entitled.  The PA told you that of all the patients she has seen with the type of breaks you had, only three have not required surgery, and you are one of the three.  So really, you are LUCKY!

OK.  I'm lucky.  And as much as I normally hate going to the mall, I am going there tomorrow to get something from the Gap and also to ask a question at the Apple store.  

I can go to the mall!!!!

Oh, yay.

Yes!  Oh yay!

Worse Things Have Happened to Better People.

Official Me:  I KNOW it!  Leave me alone!

other me:  Then stop complaining!  I'm tired of hearing about how much you hate the boot.

Official Me:  It's been ten %T^&*() weeks that I've hobbled around in this thing. It's heavy.  It's uncomfortable.  And I think it might smell a little.  I can't tell.  I'm tall.

other me:  Blah, blah, blah.

Official Me:  You don't know.  You haven't been wearing it.

other me:  Really?  Where have I been then?

Official Me:  You know what I mean.  It's getting really, really old, wearing this thing, and the orthopedist better tell me tomorrow that I don't need it any longer or...

other me:  or what?

Official Me:  Breaking News!!!  Orthopedist beaten about the head and neck with a walking cast left at the scene.

other me:  Yeah.  Sure.

Official Me:  Suspect ran off.  Authorities expect her to be caught soon.  She was last seen limping, wearing one Dansko and one sock, possibly hand knit.

other me:  Oh, great.  Stuck in a jail cell with you.  Lunatic.

For All Those Who Say They Can't Knit

She is THREE!!!

[She is knitting using the Irish Cottage Technique, employing a knitting belt (makkin) to hold the right hand needle. The Yarn Harlot holds the needle under her arm instead of using a belt. She is very fast.]  

Photo from the Scottish Archives Collection.  Girl is Chrissie Cheyne.

KLASSY!!!

Just Because

These photographs are all from The Weather Channel:  Winter Wear of Days Gone By.

            I think he must have been a professional child model.  Look at that pose!
                                       Either that or he couldn't move in that coat.

                                                             Motor Sleighs!

                                                  A.......?......... Vehicle, that's what it is:

                                                       Very Fashionable:

                               And last but not least, my great-great Aunt Laura Parbury:

(Not really.  Never heard of her.)

HAPPY THANKSGIVING, YO!

PINK!

When my husband and I replaced our antique Honda Accord a couple of months ago, we had the following color choices:  gray, grey, light black (gray), and dark white (gray), and, as a bonus choice---silver.

We bought a crossover SUV. Surprise!  It's gray!!!

The first few times that I tried to find my car in a parking lot were tough---ALL of the vehicles are some form of gray.  And almost ALL of the vehicles are some iteration of SUVs. 

Now, thanks to my ankle, I have a temporary handicapped parking pass hanging from the rear view mirror in the front window that allows me to find my car from the front. On the back bumper I have a magnet sticker of a ball of yarn with knitting needles in it and I can find the car when I spot that.  (It might help if I bothered to remember where I park the car but.......no.)

The other day in traffic, however, I spotted a very rare color choice----PINK!  A pink Cadillac! (Isn't there a song by that name?)

Of course, it's probably only available to a Mary Kay salesperson.  

But I bet that it sure is easy for her to find her car.

My Ideal Doctor's Appointment

That, and having the orthopedist say:  You're fine!  Go home!

That did not happen today.  Instead it was:  Here, wear this brace at home; wear the walking cast the rest of the time; come back in four weeks.  Go to PT.

I swear, this will NEVER END!!!

Watch out, y'all.  I might be nearing a bad mood. 

#$%^&*@#$%^& 

To the Man Stocking Shelves at Target Yesterday

Sir:

I am really, really sorry.  I know you were just doing your job, stocking shelves, and when you asked me if I was finding everything ok, you were OMG not expecting me to tell you the history of my broken ankle.  

How I broke it on October 5th and how I haven't been to a store since before then (except for an LYS).  And how I am so THRILLED to be allowed to drive again, even though I have to wear an air cast when I drive, and then I have to change back into the walking cast before I get out of the car and GAH!!!  What a nuisance! And how I won't find out until November 19th if I still need the boot, and how much I hated using crutches and thank goodness I don't have to do that anymore, and how I've had so many xrays that I might start to glow in the dark---hah hah hah--- and...

Uh oh.  

I suddenly realized that you didn't want to know ANY of this and that I was rambling on and on and on because I was so happy to be out of the house and in a place where there are ACTUAL OTHER PEOPLE!!!

You were SO polite.  When I (thank the baby cheeses) stopped talking at you, you offered that if I needed any help, I could just ask any Target employee (hoping it wouldn't be you, I'm guessing) and that if my ankle started bothering me, I should remember that there were riding electric shopping carts in the store that I could use.  

Really, you were SO nice.  Thank you.  

If you see me in your store again, you don't have to run to another aisle or into the storeroom to avoid me.  And next time, if you ask me if I am finding everything ok, I will smile, I will say yes, and I will thank you.  And I will go on my way.

I promise. 


I really, really need my life back.  
Knit, ankle bones, knit.

I CAN DRIVE!!!

I can drive!   I can drive!  I can drive!   I can drive!  I can drive!  I can drive!  I can drive!

breathe…..

I can drive!  I can drive!  I can drive!  I can drive!  I can drive!  I can drive! I can drive!

I went to my orthopedist’s office today and the PA said that I can drive.  I have to wear an air cast and then put the walking cast back on before I get out of the car.  And I shouldn’t walk much; the bones are healing well and if I mess that up, surgery, metal plates and metal pins are in my future.  No way.  

BUT, I have watched Dr. Phil two days in a row, y’all.  And that ain’t right.

A girl’s gotta bounce, yo.  

I can drive!  I can drive!  I can drive! I can drive!  I can drive!  I can drive!

In My Next Life I Will Be A Dancer

Unless I come back as a mouse or an elephant or a tree or something....

Do you think that once I get rid of this:

I will be able to do this?






I couldn't before I broke my ankle.

But a girl can dream?

Confused?

Photo from Eater

Read on.

You'll still be confused.

Or grossed out.

Who Knew?

When did Hong Kong move?

Oh c'mon Texas, just stop it already...

And just who put him on the House-Senate Energy Conference Committee?
And then made him chairman?

Souvenirs

from my trip to Texas.

Two crutches.  One of two gowns from the ER.  

Strange souvenirs, you say?

Yes, they are, but this is why:

A very broken ankle from a fall I took less than a day after my arrival.  (Pretty, isn't it?  No? Sorry.) 

The nice people at the ER wanted to cut my jeans off in order to put on the plaster cast, which I would not be able to pull jeans off and on over.  I protested, and they sent me home wearing a hospital gown.  

Problem!  It barely tied closed in the back.  

Solution!  They pulled out what I thought was a robe to match the gown.  How nice, I thought. But when I got back to my daughter's house, I realized that it was just two gowns, one tied in the back, one in the front.  No beautiful matching gown and robe.  My daughter LOVED them, so I left one with her. I'm nothing if not generous.

What I have learned:  

*Look before you step, in case there IS a step where you don't expect one.

*Have lots of minions.  While I was at my daughter's house, I had four young minions, VERY willing and cheerful minions to do my bidding.  (It helped that I had an iPad and iPhone stocked with games.) Here I have one otherwise occupied minion, my husband, and he is not motivated by electronic games. Also, he works from home, so he does have other responsibilities and isn't so quick to respond to my requests.  rats

*I hate crutches.  Hate. Hate. Hate.

*If you are going to be incapacitated by an injury, don't  do it during the BEST WEATHER OF THE YEAR.  Dayum.

*I saw my first botoxed man.  I've seen a few botoxed and otherwise-enhanced women, but not men. My orthopedist came into the exam room and I couldn't take my eyes off him, not because he was pretty, but because he was botox-pretty  Not a good look.

However!

I did have a great time at my daughter and son-in-law's home, thoroughly entertained by their cute, funny, helpful children.

AND, before the aforementioned orthopedist I saw a couple of days after my visit to the ER could tell me NO, I went to Hill Country Weavers and bought some yarn I need, wonderful light Shelter from Brooklyn Tweed.  I can't get it in Atlanta, so I was determined to get it during my trip.

A sweater's worth!

So once I get comfortable enough to knit,  I am well-stocked with projects.

And apparently I will have plenty of time.

¿Qué pasó?

See?  I'm learning Spanish!

What's happening with Knittergran?, you may ask.

Well, she can't knit and watch Breaking Bad at the same time.  She discovered this after making a few too many mistakes in her knitting.  So now that she is caught up on BB, she has been knitting.

And she should stop referring to herself in the third person.  It's just weird.  She is not royalty.

So I have been catching up on knitting!

I have finished these socks, the first ever knit on size one needles.  (Signature needles, plain vanilla pattern, and Sweet Georgia Tough Love Sock Yarn, color grouse)

AND I have been working on the tricky Miss Winkle scarf:

I don't want to think about how many loops I have attached the wrong way and have had to frog.

AND I have finally, finally, with the help of several Ravelers, gotten started on the Currant Cardigan.  It has been the most difficult project I have attempted because of the new cast on and new stitches I have had to learn.  And I was reading the charts wrong because the right side rows are usually odd-numbered (I think) and the wrong side rows even-numbered (I think) and this was backwards to me, but I didn't realize it until I had done parts of a couple of rows um...backwards?  I'm not actually sure.  I was so confused.... A very experienced knitter on Ravelry helped me sort it all out. And then I frogged.

But now I am on my way, I hope.

AND I may have discovered that I am no gardener.  So far, this is the total of my crop of peppers:

Teeny, tiny.  CUTE!!!

We have had something like 16" extra inches of rain this summer, so maybe that's the problem.  I have no idea. 

It tasted great.  So there's that.

Anyway, Breaking Bad is on tonight, but I will record it and watch it later without the ads.  

Sorry, advertisers, but you break up the mood, the color, the ambiance, the sounds, the carnage, the blood, the swearing......... maybe the ads are a good thing.  

Euuuuuuwwwww....No Thanks

So.....

is this a spoiler?  Or just crazy fun at Comic Con?

Day-um

I just watched last night's episode of Breaking Bad, after catching up on all the past episodes.

And day-um is all I can say.


But boy howdee!  Doesn't Jesse have perfect teeth!!!  You know, for a meth-head and all.

My daughters think that this should be my next birthday cake:

Except for the Bobby part.

I truly hope and pray that this cake was for an adult using a childhood nickname and not for a child whose parents are paying NO attention to what their CHILD is watching on tv.  

It's rated PG 35 people!!!

Yo

  

It's Fiction, yo.

You do NOT want to know what they are doing.  Trust me on this.

So now I have watched all of Season 3 and have started watching Season 4.

Warning:

Do NOT watch the first episode of Season 4 if you are alone.  Or don’t watch it at all.  Leave a comment asking what happened and I will tell you.  I didn’t watch it, or rather, I didn’t SEE it.  But I did hear it since I couldn’t cover my closed eyes and my ears at the same time.  And I guarantee you that you don’t want to see it.  OR hear it.

And on to more of Season Four:  

A friend of older daughter’s said that Season 4 would change my life.  There were no specifics mentioned, so I don’t know what to expect.  It is, however, possible that I might become, oh, just a wee bit overly concerned about Jesse, and then become so upset with what Walt has done to WRECK Jesse’s life that I forget that it is fiction and I get on a plane to Albuquerque and I hunt down Walter White like the animal he is and then I do whatever it takes so that I can pound him into the hot New Mexico desert sand.  Where he will stay for-EVER.

Watch this space.

Yo.

YO

So I have been catching up on Breaking Bad, although that might not be the right way to say it since I never watched it to begin with.  But I decided that in order to understand the finale, I needed to see the show.  That’s not logical.  I know.  How could I determine that I want to see the finale if I hadn’t even watched the series? Doesn't make sense.  But that’s what I’m doing.

Observations:

• Don’t do drugs.  Duh.
• I wish Jesse would make better decisions.
• I don’t care what decisions Walter makes.  He is evil.
• I wish Walter's wife and son would stay far, far away from him, just in case the people gunning for him find him. Actually, everyone needs to stay far, far away from him.
• “Camper cooking” means cooking meth in an RV.  It’s mobile yo, harder to find.
• Getting ahold of lots and lots of pseudo ephedrine is really difficult for meth cooks.
• Don’t go into the desert alone. 
• “Bounce” means "to go,” as in “Go bounce, yo,” (Go away NOW) and “We gotta bounce” (We gotta get the h*ll out of here NOW).
• If you close your eyes AND cover them with your hands, you won’t be able to see all the violence.  The series is occasionally INCREDIBLY violent. 
• Bryan Cranston is NOT the star; Aaron Paul is the star.  He is amazing. He is the bomb, yo.
• I think that "yo" is the equivalent of an exclamation mark.  I think it might also mean "Hey."  It might mean other things too, but I haven't figured them out yet.

I read somewhere that one hour spent watching television takes some specific amount of time off of our lives.  I don’t see how whoever studied this can know this, but if it’s true, I’m screwed and it’s all the fault of Breaking Bad.

Also, I’m trying to learn Spanish from the series but this might not be the best way to accomplish it.  They speak really fast, and even though the Spanish is subtitled, I can’t catch the individual words.  I can command "Finish him" though:  Terminado.  Not useful presumably,  but I could say it if I had to.

I'm only at Series 3, so there is a long way to go.

Watch this space.

Gotta bounce, yo.

Success

Why, you might ask, would I call this "success"?

Well, let me tell you. 

It has taken me nearly two weeks to get this far.  The instructions include things like LCI, 2/2 LCI, and RLPI and I had never heard of these stitches.  It took awhile to figure out what they ARE before I could look them up on youtube to find out HOW to do them.  And then I tried doing the stitches. That was fun.

And so I had to rip it all out and start over.

And I made the mistake of starting over at last week's Knit Night.  

I picked it up today to continue on to row THREE and everything was wrong.  Knits were purled; purls were knit.  

So again, I ripped it all out and started over.

And somehow there weren't enough stitches.  I added stitches, and worked row two all over.  

Now comes the increase row, and sweet baby cheeses, I hope I get it right this time.

On the other hand, I am very good now at the Old Norwegian Cast On.  



Update:  I have hit a roadblock already.  I have asked this question on Ravelry, but I wonder if anyone reading here has the answer.  How many stitches does this section require:

RLPI, p2, k1tbl, p2, 2/2 LCI, [p3, RLPI] 2 times, k1tbl, p3

I count 22 but the section set up for this only has 19.

Anyone?  Anyone?  Anyone? 

Bueller?



Update #2:

A wonderful Ravelry knitter answered my call for help and corrected my understanding of the increases I was using.  And it worked!
Onward and upward!

MKAL

A few months ago I joined an MKAL (mystery knit-along for those of you who have not yet discovered the fun of knitting).  It was the first time I had entered such a thing; I have not even done an ordinary KAL and I was excited to finally be taking part in one. However, as of today, I still haven’t taken part in one.

I have learned that my aversion to following rules, following instructions, doing what I am told, has made success in an MKAL an impossibility.

I am just not a games person---except for tennis, which I love with all my heart and soul, and I am heart-broken that two knee surgeries have taken me out of the game. (In my next life I am going to be a professional tennis player AND a back up singer for someone like Tina Turner, so keep an eye out, ok?)  I loved tennis so much that I became a USTA official: chair umpire and linesman for professional tournaments.  And I played lots and lots and lots of tennis, mainly singles. If I am going to lose, I figure, I will lose on my own, and if I am going to win, I will win on my own.  So there.

When I was a child, according to my sister, whose memory I have doubts about, I once threw a Monopoly board off of the table because I was losing.  I really do not think that I would have done such a thing, but I do know that my own family will not play Monopoly with me.  Younger daughter says that the last time I played with her, I cheated.  I doubt that as well. I think she made it up.

When I was pregnant with daughter #2 (the one who lies), my husband and I signed up for Lamaze classes.  We went once or twice.  The LAST time we went, we drove there, and before we got out of the car, I told my husband, “Do NOT tell me what to do.”  

He rightly protested that that was the whole purpose of Lamaze; that he was my coach;  coaches coach.

“No,” I repeated, “Do not tell me what to do.”

After a brief and possibly heated discussion, we went home and that was the end of Lamaze.  As it turns out, the doctors had to induce labor, and, I am told, that at that point, Lamaze is of no use at all because the mother goes into whatever is the last stage of labor.  Drugs, please.

When my husband sang the praises of a par course the county we lived in had installed, I went along once.  Once.  When I saw the first sign that said “Do x # of jumping jacks” or something like that, I started laughing. “You do what the sign says??? Really?”

So I guess this all means that I am childish or something, but apparently I just resist being told what to do, and that tendency played out with the MKAL.  

But I had been game!  I had been ready! I had even wound the yarn.  I waited excitedly for the first clues…...I printed them out and read them...... uh oh. Part of the first week’s instructions stated that a gauge swatch was absolutely essential.  Well, problem #1.  Ain’t no way.  It’s a shawl.  The size simply doesn’t matter.  To me.  Maybe to the designer but not to me.

So I waited for the next clue and was excited when the e-mail came and I could print out the new pages.  And then the next week I printed out the new pages as well.  Then the next week and then the next. Then all of the pages got mixed up and I couldn’t figure out the order.  

And that’s all she wrote.  I decided to wait until the whole pattern was released and then decide if I liked it well enough to knit it.  The complete pattern came out, I looked on Ravelry at the MKAL group’s photos of other people’s finished shawls, and yes, they were pretty enough, just not something I wanted to make.  The yarn and the needles have not yet met.  But since I still have the yarn, which I love, I will make something else from it.  

Lesson learned.  No more KALs, mystery or otherwise.

At least not in this life.